Wednesday, October 26, 2005

But he could have said...

Found via The Drudge Report.

New Bond: I hate guns
By This is London
25 October 2005

Daniel Craig will have a problem playing the new James Bond - because he hates guns.

The actor will wield 007's famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale.

But he revealed in OK! magazine: "I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Bullets have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."
Here are some other absurd things he could have said.

"I hate thermonuclear wepons. Thermonuclear wepons are used to melt people and as long as they are around, people will melt each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a thermonuclear wepons wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Thermonuclear wepons have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate sticks. Sticks are used to beat the crap out of people and poke them in the eyes and as long as they are around, people will beat the crap out of each other and have thier eyes poked out.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a stick wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Sticks have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate city buses. City buses are used to flatten people and as long as they are around, people will flatten each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a cith bus flatten someone and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Buses have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate Lightning. Lightning is used to be-zap people and as long as they are around, people will be-zap each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a lightning wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Lightning has a nasty habit of finding its target and that's what's scary about it."


"I hate people with handguns. People use handguns to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. People who shoot bullets from handguns have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate cracks in the sidewalk. Cracks in the sidewalk are used to trip people and as long as they are around, people will trip.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen person trip and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Cracks in the sidewalk have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate Main Stream Media. The MSM is used to scare people and as long as they are around, people will be scared and lied to.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen the MSM make up lies and call it the news just to scare people into doing what they want and it was a mess. It was on the telly and it scared me. The MSM has a nasty habit of finding their target, makeing stuff up and lying about it and that's what's scary about it."

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