But he could have said...

Found via The Drudge Report.

New Bond: I hate guns
By This is London
25 October 2005

Daniel Craig will have a problem playing the new James Bond - because he hates guns.

The actor will wield 007's famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale.

But he revealed in OK! magazine: "I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Bullets have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."

Here are some other absurd things he could have said.

"I hate thermonuclear wepons. Thermonuclear wepons are used to melt people and as long as they are around, people will melt each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a thermonuclear wepons wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Thermonuclear wepons have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate sticks. Sticks are used to beat the crap out of people and poke them in the eyes and as long as they are around, people will beat the crap out of each other and have thier eyes poked out.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a stick wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Sticks have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate city buses. City buses are used to flatten people and as long as they are around, people will flatten each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a cith bus flatten someone and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Buses have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate Lightning. Lightning is used to be-zap people and as long as they are around, people will be-zap each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a lightning wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Lightning has a nasty habit of finding its target and that's what's scary about it."


"I hate people with handguns. People use handguns to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. People who shoot bullets from handguns have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate cracks in the sidewalk. Cracks in the sidewalk are used to trip people and as long as they are around, people will trip.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen person trip and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Cracks in the sidewalk have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."


"I hate Main Stream Media. The MSM is used to scare people and as long as they are around, people will be scared and lied to.

"That's a simple fact. I've seen the MSM make up lies and call it the news just to scare people into doing what they want and it was a mess. It was on the telly and it scared me. The MSM has a nasty habit of finding their target, makeing stuff up and lying about it and that's what's scary about it."

Astros second baseman Craig Biggio's wife was slapped by a male fan in Chicago

Via Foxsport.com

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has apologized after Astros second baseman Craig Biggio's wife was slapped by a male fan in Chicago.

The incident happened Sunday night in the stands at U.S. Cellular Field, where the White Sox beat Houston in Game 2 of the World Series.

Well now thats no supprise. The Thugsox fans are Thugs. If they can't get onto the field to beat the crap out of a base coach, they move on to the opposing teams wife's. That's low.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX CATCHER CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Found via Fark.com

When you are a high-profile MLB player who also happens to be married and have a brand-new baby daughter... ...you might consider not having your picture taken multiple times while slobbering all over random hotties at a Baltimore-area meat market.

You see why I call them Thugsox?

Good Advice for Thugsox Thugs

#17 should have been listed 23 times, not just once.

17. Whatever you do, no matter how many beers you have, no matter how well or how poorly the White Sox are playing -- and this one is key -- DO NOT RUN ONTO THE FIELD LIKE AN IDIOT AND TACKLE THE OPPOSING BASE COACH. Thanks to the work of a couple of degenerates over the past few seasons, here is America's knee-jerk reaction whenever something comes up about White Sox fans: "Oh, yeah, they're the ones who like to run onto the field and beat up opposing coaches like Kansas City's Tom Gamboa."

PS - Thugsox Thug = Whitesox Fan = Thugsox Thug.

The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind

I've been given a homework assignment, read The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind by Relient K and report back what I learned. As the back of the book says "This is a book about girls, for girls--written by some boys."

If the name of the book sounds a bit familar that because it comes from the end of a Relient K song Mood Rings, which I have quoted below.
Mood Rings, Two Lefts Don't Make A Right... But Three Do, Relient K

Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind
...heh... that was terrible!

So check back often to see what I learn, or don't learn ;)

Update: I'm about half way through the book now. I've learned so far is that this book is for high school students. Thus nothing in this book will apply to me. Relient K has a wonderful sence of humor and I can see why a certian someone had a certian someone else have me read the book as part of their homework assignment.

Update: Finished! Done! Compete! The book has been read. Every girl is exactly as described or not at all like described or somewhere inbetween... no if and or but's about it. That's how every easy to identify group clasification read. And that's no help at all. It's like eneding every statement of fact with "then again I could be wrong... you never know." Maybe I should have known when they started with the following:

If you are reading this, you might be laughing to yourself and thinking that we have lost our minds. 'Relient K writing a book about girls? That's insane.' And you would be right. Sort of right, but not really. We might be insane, or we might not...

I think the book was probably written to plug their new album mmhmm which came out the same year as the book, 2004. ;)

C. E. Townsend

     Clarence E. Townsend, 96, of Cozad, Nebraska, died September 27, 2005 at the Good Samaritan Hospital in Kearney. He was born on July 20, 1909 in Wanette, Oklahoma, to William T. and Laura (Fraker) Townsend.

     On March 7, 1934 he was married to Oma Teague. She preceded him in death on April 29 1971.

     On October 12, 1985 he married Mary Rousselle. She preceded him in death on January 28, 2001.

     Mr. Townsend was a minister for 37 years for the Church Of The Nazarene. After his retirement he served as a supply Pastor for a number of area churches until recently.

     Clarence was a resident at the Beverly Square Assisted Living in Cozad for three years.

     Survivors: One Granddaughter: Alexis (Kirk) Soller McNeal of Kearney. One Great Granddaughter: Lauren Soller McNeal of Kearney. Son-In-Law: Jack Soller of Gothenburg. Two Step Sons: George (Reva) Whitley of Greeley, Colorado and Paul (Barbara) Whitley of Sioux City, Iowa.

     He was preceded in death by his parents, his wives, three daughters; Donna Jean Soller in 1999, Cecelia Ann born at rest in 1948 and Linda Kay who died 8 days after birth in 1946.

C. E. became my Great Grandfather when he married my Great Grandmother Mary when I was 7 years old. He was a part of my life for 20 years. This world is a lesser place with out him.

Save a slice of pie for me in Heaven Grandpa!