Thursday, September 01, 2005

Fark Florida

Florida makes Fark a lot. I mean a lot. So much that the crazies down there get their own button! That right there should tell you something.

For fun lets see how many times Florida makes Fark in the month of August.

  1. Man invents remote-controlled robot to imprint advertising logos onto baseball fields, find Sarah Connor before game time

  2. Florida considers raising speed limit to 75 mph. Farmer's markets quiver with fear

  3. Bat flies into car, bites woman. Waiting to see if she turns into superhero or vampire

  4. Regardless of how upset you are with the tax assessors, threatening them with anthrax is unlikely to reduce your bill

  5. Man arrested after lying about killing hitchhiker in hopes that it would end his marriage

  6. Police receive tip that there's a house in the neighborhood with possible drug activity, are also warned of "maniacal monkeys in its backyard"

  7. Eighty-year-old woman wants to reclaim world Qbert championship title

  8. Twelve-year-old girl sentenced to 10 years. Mom says she's gonna blow up the #@%$ courthouse

  9. Woman discovers her overgrown garden has been fined $35 per day for code violations... since 1999. Current total: $73,000

  10. Florida State to sue NCAA over right to keep name "Seminoles."

  11. Police said they found a 9 mm pistol and a bag containing ammunition in the wreckage. Speedometer frozen on 134 mph

  12. Florida's biggest electric utilities mistakenly sent a shipment of nuclear waste to a farm pasture. Well, that would explain the glowing cows

  13. Thieves steal three-foot Humpty Dumpty from wall. All the king's horses and all the king's men quickly being assembled

  14. Bad: Putting fake blue flashing light on dashboard and pulling over random car. Worse: Random car turns out to be driven by undercover policemen. Worst: Leaving cocaine on center console while doing it

  15. Homeless people object to city redevelopment plan that calls them "vagrants" and "transients." Bums, hobos and winos considered as alternates

  16. Hundreds of truckers block Florida turnpike to protest high gas prices. BJ McKay unavailable for comment

  17. Sushi fundraiser held to raise money for aquarium

  18. Radio station has people dressed as convicts running around the freeway, asking for rides. What could possibly go wrong?

  19. County to build bridge over congested area, charge toll for those who don't want to wait at traffic lights

  20. Florida leads the nation in Taser-related deaths


  21. Woman takes four-month-old son out drinking in a bar, eventually passes out with infant in parking lot after getting kicked out


  22. Financially troubled county agency foots $4,000 bill to send low-income seniors to Disney's House of Blues for a concert


  23. Hotel owner bitchslaps developer; or developer bitchslaps hotel owner. Sixty witnesses sure to provide conflicting stories


  24. State tourist board to retire its "FLA USA" brand because "USA" invokes negative opinions from foreign customers and "FLA" invokes ridicule


  25. Man, 84, arrested for drive-by shooting


  26. Shelter kills dog despite microchip identifying it and calls from owner to claim it. Animal services director says, "I have no excuse"


  27. Ricky Williams forgets his playbook in hotel room. Maid returns it, notices Cheetos and Ho-Ho stains all over it


  28. Animal-control officers in Florida surrender, say wild iguana population has won. Residents who report finding "Jurassic Park in my toilet" not amused


  29. Tampa museum breaks attendance record with cadaver exhibit. Museum officials unsure whether the bodies are meant to be part of the exhibit, or are merely elderly Floridians who dropped dead while visiting


  30. Crocodile in alligator-infested water terrifies Key West swimmers


  31. Passengers stuck on casino boat in Gulf of Mexico nearly 24 hours. Finally disembark exhausted and penniless


  32. Deputy resigns after giving stranded crack addict a lift to the gas station -- among other Fife-like blunders


  33. Dwight Gooden throws Tampa police a curveball during a traffic stop -- now they're striking back with a felony arrest warrant


  34. Katrina and the Waves to perform smash hit in Florida this weekend


  35. Congratulations to Tropical Storm Katrina on being promoted to Hurricane status


  36. Even if you are the brother of the deceased, it's still a good idea to wear a shirt and to not stab people at his wake


  37. Man successfully holds his own against Disney World by placing giant plastic tyrannosaurus rex next to interstate


  38. Girl meets Saudi prince at college. Saudi prince falls for girl. Girl uses Saudi prince's Boeing 727 to smuggle cocaine from Columbia to Paris. It's a classic love story


  39. Daytona Beach police crack down on people who leave cars running while buying coffee. $71.50 ticket costs almost as much as wasted gas


  40. Floridians swarm gas stations after getting bogus email telling them stations are running out of fuel and shutting down


40 times in 31 days. There's something not normal about that. Crazy I tell you, crazy.




Links found on Fark.com

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