Here's an example of the public school you are paying for with your tax dollars:
GRADE SCHOOL SICK: Kindergartener allegedly performs sex act on classmate...
Report of sex in kindergarten investigated
Saturday, November 23, 2002
BY PETE SHELLEM
Of The Patriot-News
Harrisburg School District and county authorities are investigating allegations that a 5-year-old kindergarten girl performed oral sex on a male classmate in school last week.
City spokesman Randy King said the incident took place Nov. 15 in a classroom at Melrose Elementary School.
It wasn't clear yesterday where the teacher was at the time. She left a memo for the principal detailing the incident before she went on leave earlier this week and has yet to be interviewed. King said the teacher has a terminally ill relative and is out of town.
District officials learned of the incident after a classmate told her mother last weekend. The mother notified school district officials Monday, and they immediately launched an investigation.
Harrisburg police have turned the matter over to county social service agencies because of the age of the children.
There will be no criminal charges, King said, because of the children's age and because the act was not forced.
"However, Children and Youth Services will be investigating the matter," King said. "Children of this age who engage in such conduct don't necessarily get this from television."
The boy's mother contacted the news media yesterday, saying the school district was being unresponsive to her inquiries about the incident.
The mother, whose name is being withheld by The Patriot-News to protect the identity of the child, said that when the girl who performed the act was questioned, she admitted she had done it.
The mother said she wasn't immediately notified, and after she was, district officials told her the matter had been turned over to Dauphin County Children and Youth, told her to get her son counseling and refused to discuss it further.
She said she is concerned for her son as well as the girl, because she feels a child exhibiting such behavior may be being abused.
"This isn't kids fighting or cutting up in school," the mother said. "This is a serious matter."
District solicitor Nate Waters said that while the incident has been turned over to social service agencies, it is still not clear exactly what happened.
"Nobody that I have talked to has assured me that these things have happened," Waters said. "We don't want to keep on moving on with hearsay from 5-year-olds. We're currently attempting to contact the teacher and get some answers."
Waters said he doesn't doubt the incident took place.
"We're trying not to sensationalize 5-year-olds having sex," Waters said. "We don't want to alarm people who have 5-year-olds in classes all over the city.
"This has never happened before to my knowledge and very likely is never going to happen again," he said. PETE SHELLEM: 255-8156 or pshellem@patriot-news.com
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
You know... I hate paying school taxes. I mean what's the point? I'm not attending a public school. I don't have any kids, and those kids that I don't have aren't attending a public school. Yahoo! has a news story which tells me that the public school system isn't up to snuff. GRRR!!
Young Americans flunk geography, according to National Geographic quiz survey
Wed Nov 20, 9:43 AM ET
By PAUL RECER, AP Science Writer
WASHINGTON - Ask young people to pick out Iraq on a map of the Middle East, and only 13 percent can locate it � despite a barrage of headlines and broadcast reports about a possible war against President Saddam Hussein (news - web sites).
Same goes for Israel or Iran, according to a National Geographic (news - web sites) study that finds there has been little to no improvement in students' knowledge of geography since 1988.
The society survey released Wednesday found that only about one in seven of Americans between the age of 18 and 24, the prime age for military warriors, could find Iraq. The score was the same for Iran, an Iraqi neighbor.
Although the majority, 58 percent, of the young Americans surveyed knew that the Taliban and al-Qaida were based in Afghanistan (news - web sites), only 17 percent could find that country on a world map. A U.S.-led force attacked the Taliban and al-Qaida in Afghanistan in October 2001, and President Bush (news - web sites) has said he is prepared to use force to rid Iraq of any chemical, nuclear or biological weapons programs.
The survey asked 56 geographic and current events questions of young people in nine countries and scored the results with traditional grades. The surveyed Americans got a "D," with an average of 23 correct answers. Mexico ranked last with an average score of 21, just three points from a failing grade.
Topping the scoring was Sweden, with an average of 40, followed by Germany and Italy, each with 38. None of the countries got an "A," which required average scores of 42 correct answers or better on the 56 questions.
"If our young people can't find places on a map and lack awareness of current events, how can they understand the world's cultural, economic and natural resource issues that confront us?" John Fahey, president of the National Geographic Society, said in a statement.
National Geographic is convening an international panel of policy makers and business and media leaders to find ways to improve geographic education and to encourage interest in world affairs, the society said.
Other findings from the survey:
_Thirty-four percent of the young Americans knew that the island used on last season's "Survivor" television show was located in the South Pacific, but only 30 percent could locate the state of New Jersey on a map. The "Survivor" show's location was the Marquesas Islands in the eastern South Pacific.
_When asked to find 10 specific states on a map of the United States, only California and Texas could be located by a large majority of those surveyed. Both states were correctly located by 89 percent of the participants. Only 51 percent could find New York, the nation's third most populous state.
_On a world map, Americans could find on average only seven of 16 countries in the quiz. Only 89 percent of the Americans surveyed could find their own country on the map.
_In the world map test, Swedes could find an average of 13 of the 16 countries. Germans and Italians were next, with an average of 12 each.
_Only 71 percent of the surveyed Americans could locate on the map the Pacific Ocean, the world's largest body of water. Worldwide, three in 10 of those surveyed could not correctly locate the Pacific Ocean.
_Although 81 percent of the surveyed Americans knew that the Middle East is the Earth's largest oil exporter, only 24 percent could find Saudi Arabia on the map.
The international survey was conducted for the National Geographic by RoperASW. The results are based on face-to-face interviews with at least 300 men and women aged 18 to 24 in Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Sweden, Britain and the United States.
The questionnaires were in the local language, but the content was universally the same.
Young Americans flunk geography, according to National Geographic quiz survey
Wed Nov 20, 9:43 AM ET
By PAUL RECER, AP Science Writer
WASHINGTON - Ask young people to pick out Iraq on a map of the Middle East, and only 13 percent can locate it � despite a barrage of headlines and broadcast reports about a possible war against President Saddam Hussein (news - web sites).
Same goes for Israel or Iran, according to a National Geographic (news - web sites) study that finds there has been little to no improvement in students' knowledge of geography since 1988.
The society survey released Wednesday found that only about one in seven of Americans between the age of 18 and 24, the prime age for military warriors, could find Iraq. The score was the same for Iran, an Iraqi neighbor.
Although the majority, 58 percent, of the young Americans surveyed knew that the Taliban and al-Qaida were based in Afghanistan (news - web sites), only 17 percent could find that country on a world map. A U.S.-led force attacked the Taliban and al-Qaida in Afghanistan in October 2001, and President Bush (news - web sites) has said he is prepared to use force to rid Iraq of any chemical, nuclear or biological weapons programs.
The survey asked 56 geographic and current events questions of young people in nine countries and scored the results with traditional grades. The surveyed Americans got a "D," with an average of 23 correct answers. Mexico ranked last with an average score of 21, just three points from a failing grade.
Topping the scoring was Sweden, with an average of 40, followed by Germany and Italy, each with 38. None of the countries got an "A," which required average scores of 42 correct answers or better on the 56 questions.
"If our young people can't find places on a map and lack awareness of current events, how can they understand the world's cultural, economic and natural resource issues that confront us?" John Fahey, president of the National Geographic Society, said in a statement.
National Geographic is convening an international panel of policy makers and business and media leaders to find ways to improve geographic education and to encourage interest in world affairs, the society said.
Other findings from the survey:
_Thirty-four percent of the young Americans knew that the island used on last season's "Survivor" television show was located in the South Pacific, but only 30 percent could locate the state of New Jersey on a map. The "Survivor" show's location was the Marquesas Islands in the eastern South Pacific.
_When asked to find 10 specific states on a map of the United States, only California and Texas could be located by a large majority of those surveyed. Both states were correctly located by 89 percent of the participants. Only 51 percent could find New York, the nation's third most populous state.
_On a world map, Americans could find on average only seven of 16 countries in the quiz. Only 89 percent of the Americans surveyed could find their own country on the map.
_In the world map test, Swedes could find an average of 13 of the 16 countries. Germans and Italians were next, with an average of 12 each.
_Only 71 percent of the surveyed Americans could locate on the map the Pacific Ocean, the world's largest body of water. Worldwide, three in 10 of those surveyed could not correctly locate the Pacific Ocean.
_Although 81 percent of the surveyed Americans knew that the Middle East is the Earth's largest oil exporter, only 24 percent could find Saudi Arabia on the map.
The international survey was conducted for the National Geographic by RoperASW. The results are based on face-to-face interviews with at least 300 men and women aged 18 to 24 in Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Sweden, Britain and the United States.
The questionnaires were in the local language, but the content was universally the same.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
Corona Coming Attractions is reporting the running time for The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. All I have to say is YES! a real movie! Not one of those silly hour and a half waste of time. If TTT is anything like The Lord of the Rings, it's going to be worth my $8.00! (more than one once probably :) )
November 12, 2002... According to a scooper at TheOneRing.net, the running time for The Two Towers (credits included) is a whopping 2 hours, 59 minutes, 9 seconds! [Source: TheOneRing.net.]
November 12, 2002... According to a scooper at TheOneRing.net, the running time for The Two Towers (credits included) is a whopping 2 hours, 59 minutes, 9 seconds! [Source: TheOneRing.net.]
Someone named mstate2002 posted their NFL power rankings... http://www.sportsline.com/messages/message/5882946/1037162955-mstate2002 I don't know... it made me laugh.
Posted by mstate2002
Nov 12, 10:49 pm
1. packers
2. bucs
3. raiders
4. eagles
5. chargers
6. broncos
7. patriots
8. falcons
9. dolphins
10. steelers
11. rams
12, 49ers
13. saints
14. cheifs
15.ills
16.lioms
17.titams
18,giats
19.colts
20.ravems
21.jags
22.redskis
23.cards
24.pathers
25.jets
26.ears
27.seahawks
28.clev.
29.cowoys
30.vikes
31.hous.
32.gals
Posted by mstate2002
Nov 12, 10:49 pm
1. packers
2. bucs
3. raiders
4. eagles
5. chargers
6. broncos
7. patriots
8. falcons
9. dolphins
10. steelers
11. rams
12, 49ers
13. saints
14. cheifs
15.ills
16.lioms
17.titams
18,giats
19.colts
20.ravems
21.jags
22.redskis
23.cards
24.pathers
25.jets
26.ears
27.seahawks
28.clev.
29.cowoys
30.vikes
31.hous.
32.gals
Sunday, November 03, 2002
Saturday, October 12, 2002
Interesting, very interesting! click here for the original
Next Trek Series: Star Trek Mariner?
Entered by Vinnie Goodson 10/6/2002 8:09:13 PM
Vinnie landed a big one here, folks. I had heard similar rumors a few weeks ago, but nothing as detailed, or as definitive. Expect confirmation from the other rumor outlets on at least parts of this. WARNING: This blog has some minor Star Trek: Nemesis spoilers in it.--- FACER
Take this with a heaping bag of salt, but my Hollywood contacts have some very important things to say about Star Trek: Nemesis.
As you'll recall, the script leaked on the Internet did not have an appearance by the 'Titan,' Riker's new command. My scooper, let's call him Jeffrey, says that it was originally a Galaxy-class starship seen departing from the same spacedock the Enterprise-E is being dragged into. Why would that change?
Scooper 2, 'Beatrice', says that the design team behind the Prometheus and Equinox were brought in for an emergency ship design two months ago. An inhouse FX crew at Paramount was also 'set aside' to 'touch-up' Digital Domain's final CGI shot (the 'gaping hole' in the bridge with Blue Skies playing in the background).
Now you're probably saying, 'Who cares? Paramount just wants a new ship to sell models with.' Normally I'd say you're right, but a new scooper who wants to call himself 'the Bendmeister' says that Paramount wants to bleed Trek dry a little faster.
That's right, Series 6 ... while Enterprise is still filming. Since Picard and Co. are too expensive, they'll be reserved for feature films, while Riker, Troi, and the Titan (expect the name to change; Bendmeister says 'Mariner' is a top candidate) will start on Series 6.
What's more, Paramount execs, reportedly 'very disappointed' with the first season of Enterprise, want to continue the 'fresh blood' idea that brought Stuart Baird and John Logan into Nemesis and shift B&B to Series 6, if Dumb & Dumber don't clean up their act by the fourth season. If they don't, they're shifted to Series 6, along with executive producer Jonathan Frakes.
But who'll take over Enterprise? REALLY fresh blood. Paramount wants someone not involved with Trek at all in control, with a few veterans in charge of continuity and stuff. Who would the veterans be? Stewart and Spiner, who no more then a few years ago were rumored to be behind a 'takeover' of the Trek franchise, would be 'punished' with babysitter duties. B&B want them out entirely (not just their characters) and S&S want both series under control. Apparently, Paramount's idea of a 'compromise' is everyone's unhappy.
What's more, Enterprise will parallel the formation of the Federation with Series 6's fall of the Federation, in which "the UFP will lose over half its territories to a new, completely alien foe that Future Guy works for." The Titan/Mariner, an untested ship, will be in charge of making sure established threats (like the Remans, Borg, and Dominion) don't cause any trouble. If all goes as planned, Series 7 will chronicle the restoration of the UFP to its former glory, with "a fan favorite enemy from TOS joining the Federation."
That's about as far as anyone's established the franchise, but the real questions are: Will B&B be able to prove themselves and Enterprise to Paramount? And Who will land in control of Series 7? A franchise can't compete against itself and if the two Treks a week don't work (and from DS9 and Voyager, we know they probably won't), then the winning successful production team will take over Series 7.
Of course, this is all hearsay, unverified rumors, but it has a slight ring of truth. Paramount bringing in new-comers suggests an unhappiness with B&B and Spiner's recent 'assimilation' of the story in Nemesis shows that the usurpers still have a desire to dethrone the reigning writers. Is this the real future of Trek? Only time can tell.
Next Trek Series: Star Trek Mariner?
Entered by Vinnie Goodson 10/6/2002 8:09:13 PM
Vinnie landed a big one here, folks. I had heard similar rumors a few weeks ago, but nothing as detailed, or as definitive. Expect confirmation from the other rumor outlets on at least parts of this. WARNING: This blog has some minor Star Trek: Nemesis spoilers in it.--- FACER
Take this with a heaping bag of salt, but my Hollywood contacts have some very important things to say about Star Trek: Nemesis.
As you'll recall, the script leaked on the Internet did not have an appearance by the 'Titan,' Riker's new command. My scooper, let's call him Jeffrey, says that it was originally a Galaxy-class starship seen departing from the same spacedock the Enterprise-E is being dragged into. Why would that change?
Scooper 2, 'Beatrice', says that the design team behind the Prometheus and Equinox were brought in for an emergency ship design two months ago. An inhouse FX crew at Paramount was also 'set aside' to 'touch-up' Digital Domain's final CGI shot (the 'gaping hole' in the bridge with Blue Skies playing in the background).
Now you're probably saying, 'Who cares? Paramount just wants a new ship to sell models with.' Normally I'd say you're right, but a new scooper who wants to call himself 'the Bendmeister' says that Paramount wants to bleed Trek dry a little faster.
That's right, Series 6 ... while Enterprise is still filming. Since Picard and Co. are too expensive, they'll be reserved for feature films, while Riker, Troi, and the Titan (expect the name to change; Bendmeister says 'Mariner' is a top candidate) will start on Series 6.
What's more, Paramount execs, reportedly 'very disappointed' with the first season of Enterprise, want to continue the 'fresh blood' idea that brought Stuart Baird and John Logan into Nemesis and shift B&B to Series 6, if Dumb & Dumber don't clean up their act by the fourth season. If they don't, they're shifted to Series 6, along with executive producer Jonathan Frakes.
But who'll take over Enterprise? REALLY fresh blood. Paramount wants someone not involved with Trek at all in control, with a few veterans in charge of continuity and stuff. Who would the veterans be? Stewart and Spiner, who no more then a few years ago were rumored to be behind a 'takeover' of the Trek franchise, would be 'punished' with babysitter duties. B&B want them out entirely (not just their characters) and S&S want both series under control. Apparently, Paramount's idea of a 'compromise' is everyone's unhappy.
What's more, Enterprise will parallel the formation of the Federation with Series 6's fall of the Federation, in which "the UFP will lose over half its territories to a new, completely alien foe that Future Guy works for." The Titan/Mariner, an untested ship, will be in charge of making sure established threats (like the Remans, Borg, and Dominion) don't cause any trouble. If all goes as planned, Series 7 will chronicle the restoration of the UFP to its former glory, with "a fan favorite enemy from TOS joining the Federation."
That's about as far as anyone's established the franchise, but the real questions are: Will B&B be able to prove themselves and Enterprise to Paramount? And Who will land in control of Series 7? A franchise can't compete against itself and if the two Treks a week don't work (and from DS9 and Voyager, we know they probably won't), then the winning successful production team will take over Series 7.
Of course, this is all hearsay, unverified rumors, but it has a slight ring of truth. Paramount bringing in new-comers suggests an unhappiness with B&B and Spiner's recent 'assimilation' of the story in Nemesis shows that the usurpers still have a desire to dethrone the reigning writers. Is this the real future of Trek? Only time can tell.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Saturday, September 28, 2002
MNF may turn
to Carrot Top next
Madden�s failure to draw fans
calls for desperate measures
Q: WITH PATRICK EWING retiring, will the Knicks retire his number?
A: Yes, and similar tributes are pouring in for the great hoops warrior. Management of the Gold Club in Atlanta has announced that no patron will ever wear Ewing�s lap dancer.
Q: I hear TV ratings for Monday Night Football are down. Dennis Miller bombed, now John Madden can�t draw viewers? What will ABC do?
A: You read it here first: Madden out; Carrot Top in. If that doesn�t work, they�ll go to the Czar of the Telestrator, Donald Rumsfeld.
Q: Is Hootie Johnson still holding firm against allowing females to join Augusta National?
A: Hootie is starting to think compromise. He has offered to sponsor several woman golfers for membership in the Costco across the street from Augusta National.
Q: Warren Sapp was fined $5,000 after one game for excessive violence, then $10,000 after the next game for the same thing. Will the fines work as a deterrent to further Sapp violence?
A: The NFL got Warren�s attention, big-time. He realizes that at this rate he�ll have to clean up his act by 2013 or go broke.
Q: Four Yankees � Jason Giambi, Shane Spencer, David Wells and Rondell White � ran up a tab of $1,900 in a New York restaurant one night. Why was the bill so high?
A: The tab was only about $200, then the four Yankees told their waiter, �Bring us what the Mets usually have for dessert.�
By the way, the boys left an $800 tip, so the final split was $650 per guy. Which means that baseball players apparently are surviving in spite of the harsh terms of the recent labor settlement.
Q: Are major league ballplayers doing anything to get ready for the random testing for performance-enhancing drugs?
A: Many players are hiring stunt doubles.
Q: So Mike Tyson is going to fight Clifford Etienne, but where?
A: They�re looking for a site. Can you clean out your garage in the next couple of weeks?
Q: Who is Clifford Etienne?
A: I believe he is Tyson�s accountant.
Q: The big thing on TV these days is the behind-the-scenes sports show, and an ESPN exec says, �We would absolutely be interested in exploring Tyson�s world.� How would they explore Tyson�s world?
A: Turn left at Mars.
Q: Was Bobby Knight�s surgery to remove an intestinal block successful?
A: Very. The blockage turned out to be his heart, which was in the wrong place. Surgeons also removed Knight�s foot from his mouth.
Q: If the U.S. women�s basketball team played the U.S. men�s team, how much would the women win by?
A: Probably by about 20 points. But the men would have way more cool dunks.
Q: Was the NFL office serious when it threatened to fine Peyton Manning if he honored Johnny Unitas by wearing high-top black football cleats?
A: This is how silly the NFL got about that Unitas-tribute stuff: Commissioner Paul Tagliabue fined Kurt Warner�s wife $5,000 for wearing a Johnny Unitas crew cut.
Q: If Jose Hernandez of the Brewers breaks Bobby Bonds� one-season record for strikeouts (189), will Bonds be in the stands to salute Hernandez for his feat?
A: Bobby was going to be there, but he missed his flight. However, when the new record is set, the game will be stopped for a brief ceremony as Brewers� officials present Hernandez with a Lucite baseball display case � empty.
Q: David Wells got into a fight with a fan after the fan insulted Wells� deceased mom. Then Orlando Hernandez punched Jorge Posada when Posada made a comment about El Duque�s mom. What�s the deal?
A: In New York, every day is Mother�s Day.
Q: So Raiders defensive end Darrell Russell, charged with a crime in connection with taking video footage of an alleged rape, was cleared of charges?
A: Old word on Russell: Meanie. New word: Fellini.
Q: Our American men suck at basketball. Are there any sports in which the USA is still best in the world?
A: Sure! Here�s a partial list: Dog Frisbee, video games, NBA mascot dunking, syncronized lap dancing, rodeo, midget wrestling, football-fan brawling, paper-scissors-rock, prison handball, touchdown dancing, and nude skydiving.
Q: Shaq O�Neal went along as an observor on a sheriff�s drug bust in Louisiana, and one suspect said O�Neal shoved his (the suspect�s) head into a toilet. After an investigation, Shaq was cleared of wrongdoing. What�s the deal?
A: The investigators bought Shaq�s version � that the guy flopped.
to Carrot Top next
Madden�s failure to draw fans
calls for desperate measures
Q: WITH PATRICK EWING retiring, will the Knicks retire his number?
A: Yes, and similar tributes are pouring in for the great hoops warrior. Management of the Gold Club in Atlanta has announced that no patron will ever wear Ewing�s lap dancer.
Q: I hear TV ratings for Monday Night Football are down. Dennis Miller bombed, now John Madden can�t draw viewers? What will ABC do?
A: You read it here first: Madden out; Carrot Top in. If that doesn�t work, they�ll go to the Czar of the Telestrator, Donald Rumsfeld.
Q: Is Hootie Johnson still holding firm against allowing females to join Augusta National?
A: Hootie is starting to think compromise. He has offered to sponsor several woman golfers for membership in the Costco across the street from Augusta National.
Q: Warren Sapp was fined $5,000 after one game for excessive violence, then $10,000 after the next game for the same thing. Will the fines work as a deterrent to further Sapp violence?
A: The NFL got Warren�s attention, big-time. He realizes that at this rate he�ll have to clean up his act by 2013 or go broke.
Q: Four Yankees � Jason Giambi, Shane Spencer, David Wells and Rondell White � ran up a tab of $1,900 in a New York restaurant one night. Why was the bill so high?
A: The tab was only about $200, then the four Yankees told their waiter, �Bring us what the Mets usually have for dessert.�
By the way, the boys left an $800 tip, so the final split was $650 per guy. Which means that baseball players apparently are surviving in spite of the harsh terms of the recent labor settlement.
Q: Are major league ballplayers doing anything to get ready for the random testing for performance-enhancing drugs?
A: Many players are hiring stunt doubles.
Q: So Mike Tyson is going to fight Clifford Etienne, but where?
A: They�re looking for a site. Can you clean out your garage in the next couple of weeks?
Q: Who is Clifford Etienne?
A: I believe he is Tyson�s accountant.
Q: The big thing on TV these days is the behind-the-scenes sports show, and an ESPN exec says, �We would absolutely be interested in exploring Tyson�s world.� How would they explore Tyson�s world?
A: Turn left at Mars.
Q: Was Bobby Knight�s surgery to remove an intestinal block successful?
A: Very. The blockage turned out to be his heart, which was in the wrong place. Surgeons also removed Knight�s foot from his mouth.
Q: If the U.S. women�s basketball team played the U.S. men�s team, how much would the women win by?
A: Probably by about 20 points. But the men would have way more cool dunks.
Q: Was the NFL office serious when it threatened to fine Peyton Manning if he honored Johnny Unitas by wearing high-top black football cleats?
A: This is how silly the NFL got about that Unitas-tribute stuff: Commissioner Paul Tagliabue fined Kurt Warner�s wife $5,000 for wearing a Johnny Unitas crew cut.
Q: If Jose Hernandez of the Brewers breaks Bobby Bonds� one-season record for strikeouts (189), will Bonds be in the stands to salute Hernandez for his feat?
A: Bobby was going to be there, but he missed his flight. However, when the new record is set, the game will be stopped for a brief ceremony as Brewers� officials present Hernandez with a Lucite baseball display case � empty.
Q: David Wells got into a fight with a fan after the fan insulted Wells� deceased mom. Then Orlando Hernandez punched Jorge Posada when Posada made a comment about El Duque�s mom. What�s the deal?
A: In New York, every day is Mother�s Day.
Q: So Raiders defensive end Darrell Russell, charged with a crime in connection with taking video footage of an alleged rape, was cleared of charges?
A: Old word on Russell: Meanie. New word: Fellini.
Q: Our American men suck at basketball. Are there any sports in which the USA is still best in the world?
A: Sure! Here�s a partial list: Dog Frisbee, video games, NBA mascot dunking, syncronized lap dancing, rodeo, midget wrestling, football-fan brawling, paper-scissors-rock, prison handball, touchdown dancing, and nude skydiving.
Q: Shaq O�Neal went along as an observor on a sheriff�s drug bust in Louisiana, and one suspect said O�Neal shoved his (the suspect�s) head into a toilet. After an investigation, Shaq was cleared of wrongdoing. What�s the deal?
A: The investigators bought Shaq�s version � that the guy flopped.
Friday, September 27, 2002
Spike Lee is the DEVIL!
American Taliban John Walker Lindh has a new excuse for his traitorous behavior - he says Spike Lee made him do it!
SPIKE LEE SENT LINDH OVER EDGE
American Taliban John Walker Lindh has a new excuse for his traitorous behavior - he says Spike Lee made him do it!
SPIKE LEE SENT LINDH OVER EDGE
Friday, September 20, 2002
Date set for $200 Xbox game
By David Becker
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
September 20, 2002, 10:39 AM PT
Game publisher Capcom announced a planned November release for "Steel Batallion," a tank combat game for Microsoft's Xbox console that will be packaged with a custom 40-button game controller and will sell for $200, the same cost as an Xbox. Most Xbox games sell for $50.
cnet.com story
This is probably why I like Computer Games so much more than consol game! I mean who can blame me? I've already got a controller with a zillion buttons on its... its called a keyboard! :P
How nice!
EDITORS NOTE OBSCENE CONTENT A young Muslim man, who refused to give his name, shows his feelings toward the media outside the Federal Court House in Buffalo, New York September 18, 2002 where he sat to show his support for the six local suspected al-Qaida supporters who appeared inside the court, September 18, 2002. The six men have been charged with providing material support to al Queda from nearby Lackwanna, New York. REUTERS/Mark Dye
click here for picture or click here for picture
EDITORS NOTE OBSCENE CONTENT A young Muslim man, who refused to give his name, shows his feelings toward the media outside the Federal Court House in Buffalo, New York September 18, 2002 where he sat to show his support for the six local suspected al-Qaida supporters who appeared inside the court, September 18, 2002. The six men have been charged with providing material support to al Queda from nearby Lackwanna, New York. REUTERS/Mark Dye
click here for picture or click here for picture
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
"If GI Joe was carrying a replica then it had to be taken from him"
Los Angeles International Airport
Soldier toy disarmed at airport
Great! That's just great! I hope my fingers don't make the shape of a gun next time I'm at LAX. I wonder if I'd have to take my shirt off it it had the picture of a tank or a fighter jet on it? I'd better not take any Bazooka Joe bubble gum either. I mean it does have the work "bazooka" on it and you can make a poping sound when poping a bubble... Someone will think you are trying to something naughty! (sigh)
Los Angeles International Airport
Soldier toy disarmed at airport
Great! That's just great! I hope my fingers don't make the shape of a gun next time I'm at LAX. I wonder if I'd have to take my shirt off it it had the picture of a tank or a fighter jet on it? I'd better not take any Bazooka Joe bubble gum either. I mean it does have the work "bazooka" on it and you can make a poping sound when poping a bubble... Someone will think you are trying to something naughty! (sigh)
Thursday, August 01, 2002
Wednesday, July 31, 2002
James A. Traficant Jr: Poster Boy of the Democrat Party
"I want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said. I think they're delusionary. I think they've had something funny for lunch in their meal, I think they should be handcuffed, chained to a fence and flogged, and all of their hearsay evidence should be thrown the hell out. And if they lie again, I'm going to go over there and kick them in the crotch. Thank you very much."� Traficant's closing statement to the ethics panel.
EIGHT YEARS FOR TRAFICANT...
"I want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said. I think they're delusionary. I think they've had something funny for lunch in their meal, I think they should be handcuffed, chained to a fence and flogged, and all of their hearsay evidence should be thrown the hell out. And if they lie again, I'm going to go over there and kick them in the crotch. Thank you very much."� Traficant's closing statement to the ethics panel.
EIGHT YEARS FOR TRAFICANT...
Thursday, July 25, 2002
Ailing Man Sues Fast-Food Firms
In honor of a complete MORON, please join with me as we sing...
Eat It
------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off you're plate
So eat it
Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn't matter
If it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!
Your table manners are a crying shame
You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.
You better listen, better do as you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold
So eat it.
I don't care if you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it's too cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
In honor of a complete MORON, please join with me as we sing...
Eat It
------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off you're plate
So eat it
Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn't matter
If it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!
Your table manners are a crying shame
You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.
You better listen, better do as you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold
So eat it.
I don't care if you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it's too cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Amoebas attack boy's brain Doctors said little is known why one person will become infected and another will not. One theory is that it takes a lot of water jammed into the nasal passages, perhaps by falling off water skis or jumping into the water.
Hmm... maybe that's why I've always wanted to plug my nose before going underwater!
Hmm... maybe that's why I've always wanted to plug my nose before going underwater!
Tuesday, July 23, 2002
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